we were never that close, because i was never your favorite. but you were once my favorite, because of your butter rice omelette with soy sauce. i was a very picky eater, so that became the one dish that i would eat for a year straight. no one can make it as better as yours. i haven’t eaten it for years, but the taste of your cook hasn’t left my memory and i can still remember vividly how soft the omelette is. i don’t know how you make it soft like that.
you gave me a nickname, just like the tradition from where we are. at first i was confused why you call me ‘rahma’, it’s too similar to my real name. but then i learned i was named after your mother. i was never your favorite but you gave me your favorite name.
you often visited me with grandpa while he’s still here. when you came to visit, you liked to sleep in my room and then we’d watch soap operas together. i followed the entire 3 seasons, because you watched it every night. we’d watch until 11pm, then you turned off the lights. i was never your favorite but i like sleeping next to you and hear your lullaby.
i was never your favorite, and we were never that close. i knew you’d chose my other cousins instead of me, because i was never your favorite. but there was once time when you are my favorite.
—
i was at the office when i heard the news, then i froze for the next hours, confused.
why you left so suddenly?
goodbye, grandmother.
