Recently I stumbled upon the song Clarity, yes that Clarity. I know, I know it sounds kind of like pathetic. But I just realized how different the song sounded when I heard it for the first time at 12 and listened to it again at 22. I mean what do my 12-years-old self know about being in love and getting hurt all over again?
I froze when I dissected the lyrics, “If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?”
I always thought that when you’re in love, the person you love will always drive you crazy but at the same time they’re the one who’s keeping you sane. One might say this is a toxic dynamic — but given the complexity of a relationship, it portrays a situation of a romance where despite all the tragedies, they’re still compelled to be together.
Let’s be honest, human relationship — especially romance — are that complex. So complex that sometimes we cannot fathom the logic of our actions. We argue, we fight, we start the fire, but eventually we turn back to each other to get our remedies. See, this situation isn’t clear at all. But only one thing that remains clear, is that the other person is our clarity.
Part of the song kind of portrays dependency too, where actually you don’t need that person to complete my pieces. But you need that person, when actually you wish you didn’t. When that piece went missing, you chase that person because you think they’d complete you. That’s what I did actually, chase, chase, and chase. Still putting up a fight even when you know the relationship was doomed from the beginning, because of the thought that the other person would complete your pieces.
I sang along to this song years ago happily but now I sob every time I hear this song. Funny how 10 years ago I didn’t think I would relate to this song and dissected the lyrics into a writing, but here I am.
