Oh how I thought I’d get my life together around this age, but look at me still floating through this life. That’s not a bad thing anyway, I still have plenty of time beyond this age. This year I turned 23, then I’m going to turn 28, then I’m going to turn 34. Who knows at which age I’ll live a peaceful life without confusion, maybe sooner, maybe later, or maybe never?
I’ve gone through extreme character development moments in my life in the past few years. I’ve got plenty of my tower moments, highest highs, and lowest lows. Honestly I won’t even recognize who I was at 20 — I always thought she’s younger & happier, but I’ve changed so much. Changes are meant to happen. We can’t avoid changes. Sometimes I get upset when I think I’m happier at 20, but I have to accept those changes. Me at 23 is very different from me at 20, and it’s good. It means that I’m growing as a person.
I thought at around this age I’d know how to do things right in life. Wrong. I still got rocky roads ahead of me, and that’s okay. Make mistakes and failures at your early 20s, as they say. Fail that interviews, you’ll know how to answer properly next time. Do poorly at that presentation, your boss going to back you up anyway and you’ll know how to handle clients next time. Break your heart, you’ll love better next time. Hit the car in front of you, you’ll know how to control your brakes better next time. I’m a work-in-progress, I‘ll figure things out from my mistakes & failures.
I thought at around this age I’d know the answers for many things in life. Who am I kidding, I still have so many questions unanswered. I still don’t know how to do taxes. I still don’t know how to be an adult. I still don’t know how to navigate through life smoothly. I still don’t know how to be consistent. I still don’t know how to handle emotions better. But it means I still have plenty rooms for myself to grow and eventually get the answer for those questions.
I thought at around this age my life would be stable. Boring, who wants to settle at 23? Maybe I don’t want to do my current job at 23 for the rest of my life. Maybe I don’t want to marry my partner at 23 for the rest of my life. Maybe I don’t want to live in my city at 23 for the rest of my life. Maybe I have to take the wild adventures instead of living a stable life.
My thoughts for so many things were wrong, but made me realize that I still have a lot of growing to do. I still have to learn a lot of things to fill the gaps to make those thoughts happen to my life. These thoughts might be wrong at 23, but might be true at 24? or 38? We’ll see.
I still have so many journeys I haven’t unlocked yet. I hope I got to do the journeys through another trip around the sun.
Happy birthday, keep orbiting around the sun and aim for the stars.
